Tuesday, September 26, 2006


Life's certainties:

1) Death
2) Taxes
3) The Saints losing crucial football games

Number 3, quite frankly, doesn't really bother your average Saints fan. (Upon examining the average Saints fan's diet, one may opine that they're not too concerned about Number 1 either.) The Saints go to the playoffs - and lose. Then they go to the playoffs again - and lose. Then they go to the playoffs and win - then lose. This has been since the dawn of time.

However, with that being said, it has NEVER occurred to me to like anyone else. The entire concept is as foreign to me as a red beans and rice-less Monday. Sure we bitch and moan about them. This year they've got a great defense but no offense. The next they've got a killer offense but no defense. Whatcha gonna do? Say what you will about the Louisiana (*cough* Tom Benson *cough), no one can accuse us of being fair weather fans. Mostly because we haven't really had any substantial fair weather. Like everything else in New Orleans, we loved them because they were ours. Think I'm kidding? Talk to a fan about relocating the Saints.

ANYONE can love the winning team. They're winning. What's not to love? Only a fan, however, can look at a game where the final score was, say. . .iono 23 - 3 (IN YO' FACE FALCONS) and rave about that one field goal. Only a fan can be content to watch the game highlights, when ALL of the highs belonged to the other team. Such has been the existence of the Saints fan.

But not last night. *contented sigh* Last night was the game that every Saints fan dreamed of. Last night was the game that every Saints fan NEEDED! Last night the Saints set up a branch office in that ass! (Though I'm still kind of pissed at Deloatch's act of stupidity. What the hell?!) It was spectacular to witness my team relentlessly defending the house.

The thing is, the Saints don't have to win another game this season (though they will) and we'll still love them. But today, I got bragging rights. Today my team is #1 in the NFC South. And, just in case you forgot:

MY TEAM IS 3 - 0!!!

Friday, September 22, 2006

Shooting from the Hip-stress

In recent conversations with the Desperate Housewife, a few topics came up that had coincidentally been on my mind as of late.

I don't know how many of you were keeping up with that Debra Lafave nonsense, but if you've been under a rock, or did like me and saw some blonde bimbo bumping her gums and switched stations, I'll enlighten you: this is the teacher who molested an 8th grader and got off with house arrest. (The fact that the boy seemed black, or at least biracial, is an entirely different blog for another day.) This bold bitch went so far Men - and particularly black men, since it is you who are near and dear to my heart - if an older man or woman used you for their sexual experimentation, listen to me and listen good: YOU WERE MOLESTED. You're not lucky, it didn't help you be "a better freak," you are a fractured individual. Quiet as it is kept, if you are pre-pubescent and another pre-pubescent individual initiated sexual experimentation, chances are, that encounter was a by-product of their own abuse (again, another blog post for another day).

Here's what's sad: our young black men are taught that, even if they do feel victimized, they must view this encounter as some sort of conquest. Do you have any idea how detrimental this is? I have several male friends who were molested by teenaged girls/young women over the years, and never reported it. All of them brushed it off as though it was nothing. NONE of them have healthy attitudes toward women. Not a one. Couldn't hold a relationship if you gave them a bucket. Women who are raped or molested as children tend to be wary of men. *taps temple* Think about it.

Yo: kids are fat. And no, I don't mean there's a random chubby kid here and there. I mean FAT! Your eight year old should not weigh 125 pounds, unless that eight year old is 5'3. I have someone very near and dear to my heart, and her daughter is obese. The doctor put her on a diet, and I asked her a couple of weeks ago how she was doing? The response I received was, "Eating everything in sight." Uh, why are you giving it to her/allowing her to have it. A child will eat junk all day if you let him. This is why a child is given parents/guardians. Put away the cookies, chill out on the Kool Aid, turn off the T.V. and send their behinds outside.

However, the flip side to that is this: the cost of eating healthy is ridiculous; often, to the point of being prohibitive. If a chicken leg is $0.99 a pound, why in the HELL is a chicken breast $4.99 a pound. They came off the same damned chicken! When you show me a chicken that has nothing but legs or nothing but breasts, then you can rationalize that shit to me. White rice has to go through a EXTRA process to be stripped of all it's nutritional value, but you can get two pounds for a buck 99. Brown rice on the other hand, costs roughly twice as much, sometimes for half the amount. They're making brownies bigger and more accessible, yet making apples smaller and more expensive. That is some sick shit.

You white folks with chocolate fetishes: *sigh*. I take very little issue when two people can see past whatever, overcome obstacles and find love. However, you folks that like to say things like, "I have a taste for chocolate," etc. work my last fucking nerve. It is 2006 and white folks STILL see black folks as little more than mobile masses of sexuality. Imma be right next to the Housewife setting off revolution in this bitch if I hear it again. It's insulting, it's demeaning and whether you want to hear/believe it or not, THAT SHIT IS RACIST AS ALL HELL. Yes, you, with all your "nigger lovin'" are perpetuating racist ideology. When you ask a white woman why she likes black men so much, almost the first thing out of her mouth is something dick related. For white men, they almost immediately go to ass. For real black folks? Are we really that cool with being broken down into sexual parts for the amusement of white folks? *tsk tsk*

More often than not, an individual of this sort RESORTS to black folks. Because "white men/women just aren't into me." Make no mistake black people: the MOMENT an eligible Caucasian presents him/herself and you (if they are not merely using you as a jump off) cut out of line, your black ass is out of the picture. I have seen it happen more than a few times with my own eyes. These folks are not far removed from the people that had brothers swinging from trees and sisters raising mulatto babies solo when their "fetish" wasn't so cool. *taps tample again*

Think about that too.

. . .aaaaaaand I'm SPENT!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Releasin' my delf Pt. II

What's poppin' 360?! How y'all been? Me? Ahhh, I just been "bein' me, T-hug, cuz if you take out the dash, IMMA THUUUG!!" (If you don't get that, you don't need to.) I've just been popping up periodically watching folks run their mouths, occasionally giving thanks for that little red 'x' in the upper right. Of course in the time that I've been away, stuff has been building up in my mind, so sit back and enjoy my mental regurgitation.

So, am I the only person in the world that gives not a shit about Britney, Whitney or Suri? Why was the world wondering if that child really existed? Do you know where your fucking kids are? Can they spell? Do they know their alphabets? Are they cussing out grown folks?? Focus on THESE things people. Do like the rest of us : wait for Bobbi Kristina's porn flick to come out and shut the hell up.

Bringing sexy back. Yes. This is the new catch phrase. I'm presuming this has replaced "grown and sexy", (read: "obese with attitude"). Give it a fucking rest people. Remember how we looked at our parents when they used to use the popular catch phrases and run them into the ground? Shut your simple ass up.

Remember how stupid that show "Full House" was? Yeah. It's even stupider in the '06. And I don't care what anybody says, those twins were some of the ugliest children I had ever laid eyes on. Show of hands? Who's with me on this? C'mon. . .who's with me?

Yo! Who knew Meth dropped an album? Again. . .show of hands? Yeah, me neevah, until I went to order my Roots CD and was like, "Hmmm...4:21? This is unfamiliar." Dude got ZERO promo. I guess badmouthing the boss isn't all that wise, even in the music biz. Meth, brother, you got fam to take care of. You HAD to know Jay-Z would act like a lil bitch if you pissed him off. At least you'll have stories to tell when you go to your next label.

So the fro is coming along lovely, but I gotta find different stuff to do to it.

So, Lil Kim got released from prison and nobody cared. Yall heard that girl. She's bringing reconstituted, surgically altered, ex-con sexy BACK! Iono...she still looks like that hippie muppet to me.

And in other news, I have discovered that I LOVE "Best Week Ever". But uh, is Diddy really pissing on his myspace page? And are jackasses REALLY going to his page to see that shit? He is the epicenter of all that ails the world. You know how there's that "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" game? Look at all the shitty stuff that's going in the world, I can virtually guarantee you that it is but six degrees (or less) separating it from Diddy. Think about it? Coincidence, I think not.

Ok, though I don't CARE about Whitney and Bobby per se, I have always found it amusing that people always like to blame Bobby for Whitney's issues. Like she was this angel and he was a part of a bad phase. She's been married to that man since 1992. That's a "phase "for that ass.

White folks and latinos: strollers are not for five year olds. If you have to keep stopping because your child's feet keep dragging under the stroller, his ass needs to be walking. What the hell is wrong with you? Feet should not cause sparks. Work that out.

And in closing, for your enjoyment: