If he were a dance
He'd be complicated like the tango
Exotic like a mango
But if he were a song
He'd be a complicated melody
That complicated fellow he
I almost can not sing it on key
- India Arie "Complicated Melody"
This is actually Take Two of a post that I've been trying to write for the better part of a week now. Though I haven't completely abandoned my first idea, the post did something that is not uncommon of my posts: it was turning into a carnivorous beast. In said post, I rehashed my dating past and compared it to my present. It was. . .interesting. What it amount to was me using the shortfalls of my past dating relationships and using it to bolster my current situation. After consideration, yes, I DID date some losers in my past, but not every guy that I dated before was a loser. But that fact is utterly irrelevant. Because what I have truly needs no justification.
I'm still not 100% certain when it happened. I had essentially decided that I wasn't interested in dating anyone, and truly enjoying the single life. I didn't give a second thought to the harmless flirting we were engaging in. Then, I'd barely blinked, and he and I were in the same place, at the same time, sharing a kiss that I felt in my toes. Seven months later, I still get the flutters in my stomach whenever I think about it, and every kiss we've shared since then.
And my kids like him. Keep it real, that's just as important as me liking him. Not saying that I have to live my life for them to the exclusion of my feelings. However, what I do affects them, and it is very important to me that they have embraced him in the manner that they have.
I dn't remember having such a good feeling about anyone in my life. Even when I miss him, I can't be that sad, because I'm blessed enough to be building something with someone worth missing. He's beautiful through and through. And somehow, verbalizing that doesn't quite capture it.
I'm glad this is what it is. And I hope it continues to become what it is to become.