Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Things I wasn't prepared for, but had to deal with anyway

Having to explain what "pubes" were to my 9 year-old.

My 15 year high school reunion being around the corner.

My daughter telling me, "Diets don't work. You should try Weight Watchers."

Being one "D" past Victoria being able to tell me the Secret.

Having to explain to my grandmother what making it rain meant.

Seeing a picture of myself before I discovered eyebrow waxing.

Being the office hottie. (Who knew backfat was in?)

Choosing a crossword puzzle over other forms of, uh, visual entertainment.

Turn down a good looking guy's request for a date because he had the crazy eyes.

The realization that I am much closer to 35 than 18. . .or 21 for that matter.

Spanx.

Looking at an ad about bunion surgery and saying, "hmmmmmmm."

The irony of being infinitely more comfortable getting naked for a massage as a "big girl" than when I worked out four times a week.

My daughter's crush on a neighborhood boy.

The fact that Flavor Flav stays neck deep in dem hos.

80s music being considered "oldies."

Living long enough to watch a fad enter, depart, then return.

The realization that this blog kind of makes me sound like an old fart, yet you still can't convince me that I am not the shit.

5 comments:

GC said...

your grandma has one up on me

BLESSD1 said...

Wow...some of that is really challenging. How'd you explain what pubes were to your lil man? Wait...that cat prolly already has a few! LOL! And tell lil mama she's absolutely right about diets. BEWARE THE MAN WITH THE CRAZY EYES!!!

jalishouse said...

Great post - you don't sound old to me (but I'm truly old as hell so never mind on that reassurance). I just found out what snapping a rubberband meant in strip club terms - oh, but wait - I'm lame.

Clifton said...

"The fact that Flavor Flav stays neck deep in dem hos."

This post was so excellent I want to copy it.

Amadeo said...

How about telling people these new fashions are just things from the 80's and not many of them recognize it?