I love buying clothes that are "chocolate", "espresso or "celery" as opposed to "brown", "dark brown" or "green". Looking at a fluffy white cloud makes me a little giddy. Every once in a while, I feel the need to get dolled up and go clubbing, but it still pales in comparison to watching three year old put on her "princess" shoes and dance around the house for our "Saturday Night Dance Party". I will talk on the phone to just about anybody, but if I talk to you on the toilet, I'd take a bullet for you. The same goes for if I pick my wedgie in your presence. I am a sucker for an educated brother with dreds and a twisted sense of humor. Just because I give you a big smile, that does NOT mean I want you - my mouth is wide. . .I have no choice. I am terrified of drowning or being severely burned. If you want to end a friendship with me, lie, insult my intelligence or call me out of my name maliciously. I can handle anything that you dish out to me personally, but if you harm my children I will beat your monkey ass. If I bring a man food, I'm sprung. I will complain about my sisters until the end of time, but the moment someone else chimes in, I will not hesitate to cuss them from amazing grace to floating opportunity. I'm also undisciplined. . .which is why I was typing this instead of focusing on what I really should be doing.