Wednesday, April 19, 2006

It's been a long time. . .I shouldn'ta left you. . .

Ok, so I've been busy guys. Working, visiting home again, and all that good stuff. Plus, I've been blogging a lot more on Yahoo 360. It's sort of like crack without the ashy lips and questionable sexual services (at least for ME). However, a funny thing happened on the way to 360 the other day. I got cyber thugged yall!! Like for real.

I ain't even DO nothin'. Ok, like, what had happened was, all I had did was said that Matthew Knowles looks like he wouldn't be out of place on the offender website (AND HE DOES!) and a brawd got her nose all out of joint. But you don't have to take my word for it:

Do you actually know him? If not all this is mere rumor and speculation. He went to school with my father and I got a chance to meet him and he is a great guy. I was reading some of your past blogs and you are a contradiction. On one hand you ask why dont people speak positively about themselves and on the other hand you spend quite a bit of time tearing people down. Here is my take. I dont know you but on casual observation from intensive reading of your blogs, you seem to be straight tripping. how are you going to clown females when you a bald headed, fat ass freak show. I took the time to view your pictures and the ones of you in your friends albums. The ones on your profile are OLD. You got about 20 pounds more and 20 ounces more hideousness on you since then. Must have been the stress from Katrina. And what was with the synthetic fiber 2 strand twists you had and the sagging breasts? You were Talking about bras in one of your blogs. How about get you one with some straps to hold yours up OK? And where is your hair sweetie? Had a recent problem with chemicals? They say a woman who loves talking about what other females should not wear really do that because they hate themselves and they are trying to appease their own insecurity. If I looked like you, I would hate myself too. Return to New Orleans darling. you and that wrecked city are a dead on match.

Say WORD? Beyonce? Is that you girl? Or is that Tina? Let me first say that a total stranger doing research on/about me is just a little icky. Katrina barbs. And, uh, did this brawd study my mammaries? Can you casually observe and intensely read at the same time? And does passing him a hot dog at the Essence Fest automatically mean that dude shouldn't give me the heebie jeebies? I knew that singers had groupies, as do sports stars, actors, musicians, but their creepy fathers? Daaaaaamn. What part of the game is that?

Needless to say, this has been my joke of the week. I have been called a lot of things in my life and time, but a fat, bald freak show. Wasn't that the dude on Harold and Kumar? I mean, I'm no cover girl, but WOW. I swear to you America, I did not have sexual relations with her man.

I don't want a resolution, I don't want an amen corner and I certainly don't want sympathy (even though when my homegirl called her a chuck wagon stew serving bitch, I damn near busted one of my fat freakish guts). This was really just too funny NOT to share. Folks will take up a cause and fight to the death for damn near ANYTHING.

But then again, that's what I get for fucking around on Yahoo.

And all this time I thought Mary J. banned hateration in the dancerie.


Bint Alshamsa said...

Can I be bald like you Breez? As one of the few readers here who has arched your thick-*** eyebrows and combed your fur...uh, I mean hair, I'm totally cracking up with you here. Does anyone want to venture a guess about which of her features this person must feel insecure about? I swear, some folks are their own worst enemy.

Amadeo said...

Oh,Oh....Digital Thug...see I knew I should've had that term copywritten.

Breez said...

@B.A. Baracus - Stop fronting. You know that was you. I thought you liked me mannnn!

@ Amadeo - Yeah, you should have gotten on that back when Al Gore invented the internet. You had to know that the keyboard bullies were coming.

BLESSD1 said...

LMAO @ "I swear to you America, I did not have sexual relations with her man." Let the haters do as they will. You still say more dope things than a cat that brushes his teeth w/amphetamines. You'd swear that she had a love child with Matthew Knowles! Keep doing your thing, Breez