Thursday, February 24, 2005

Ranting, Raving and Roaring

Why do people have the tendency to wait until they are grown to turn into idiots? Though I recognize that none of us are immune from indiscretions and bad decisions, there is a cut-off time for certain types of fuck-ups.

The father of my children turns 30 this summer. Recently, he was picked up for possession with intent to distribute. Idiot. To make matters worse, he had the bail bondsman call my father? Can't you just be embarrassed in front of your own family? Must you bring mine into the mix? Besides, isn't 30 a little old to be running around with a bunch of nickel bags. I mean, I'm not for thug life, but by that age, should you have at least two people working for you? Guess not. To quote Sampson Simpson "He's got to be the dumbest muthafucka in the history of the dope game." I guess I'm also a little salty about the fact that he didn't even bother to give the kids any of the nickel bag proceeds.

To be honest, I'm beginning to think that he has a more serious drug problem and that concerns me. I'm not a micro-managing "other parent". When my kids would spend the weekend with him, I wouldn't spend my time calling, checking up, etc. because I know that regardless of the issues he and I have, he loves his children. However, I have seen through other family members how a drug problem can alter your sense of priorities.

Folks tell me "Just keep doing what you're doing and your kids are going to remember you for that." Hell, I don't want to be the "better" parent. I just want to be a parent. Someone who raises kids without having to pick up slack, make excuses and do "extra" to give the appearance of "normal".

He spent 5 years being an adequate father. I hope he can at least get back to that.


Amberjane said...

Not an easy burden to bear. My ex was all about the drugs, and it was hard enough dealing with that without kids. Hope that you find the strength to see you & your kids through his crappy way of dealing with life right now.

Danja said...

17% of that nickelbag money should be going to the kids!! fuck that jailhouse muthafucka... God, I hate men