Friday, April 29, 2005


I originally planned to post a light hearted blog. Something fun, reflective of my mood at the time. I even started it and one day, I'm sure I'll complete and post it. But today that won't happen. I'm struggling to think of something light.

I learned of something that happened to a friend recently, something very ugly and hurtful, and it has really gotten to me. It really has me questioning the unspeakable acts that human beings can commit against one another, yet still exist under the assumption that they are one of "the good guys." How can folks like that look at themselves in the mirror, when I (by no means a paragon of human kindness) feel bad for yelling at old ladies within the confine of my car, for going 40 mph on the interstate? How can you go to your family reunion and embrace your mother knowing who you are and the things you've done?

My emotions have run the gamut: first nothing, followed by shock, rage and sadness. Part of me enjoyed this "nothing" feeling, because that would mean it was a dream. This did not really happen to my friend. I'll wake up, give her a call, we'll talk about love, life and everything in between and she'll cuss me out for making her use her $0.45 cell phone minutes with my foolishness.

But everything else tells me that I am awake. I've talked to her and we've chuckled about random foolishness. It's like, she took it on the chin and then just kept it moving. She says she doesn't have tears left. She says she can't cry anymore.

It's cool sis. I've got both of us.

1 comment:

nai' said...

I think that sometimes we do need to cry for others. If only to remember that bad things happen everyday. And we can become all cried out. But I don't believe that the feeling of hurt ever subsides.