Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Thank you Daddy

I've said before that my mother was definitely the glue that held us together, but my father was the rock that we all rested on.

Yesterday morning, before working in this 95 degree heat, he found out that my tire was flat. He turned around and came to my house immediately to fix it. Then, when he realized that the tire was flat because it was shitty, he brought me to buy two new tires for my raggedy ass car. Considering that there are people in this world who couldn't spot their dad in a one man race, I'm blessed. Further considering that there are people whose fathers are so subhuman and cruel their kids wish that they'd never seen them, I realize that I'm supremely blessed.

Along with my mother he taught me to be resourceful, command respect, seek knowledge for myself and respect others. However, most of all, he taught me how to identify a real man and father. We never knew what it meant to be without food, or lights or transportation. My sisters and I knew that we were special and beautiful because my father told and showed us that we were. We never knew what it was like to feel unloved by him. Toward the end of my mother's life he personified "in sickness and in health." Gotta love a man like that.

My dad makes dating tough. It's not that I expect a man to be "just like daddy" (he does have a 25 year jump on everyone else), but I do expect to see at least some of the same qualities. There are definitely good men out there, but there are quite a few (often those that gain my initial attention) that completely miss the mark. I've never seen a woman open a door in my father's presence. I've never heard my father toot his own horn about how much of a good man or provider he is. He's a reformed player and he taught me that if a man is buried in explanations, then bullshit is nearby. He schooled me on successfully walking the fine line between being strong and being a ball buster. (The dudes that think I don't are generally pussies and I don't give a fuck what they say. J/K...well, sort of.) He looks out for my children to ensure that they have a positive male figure in their lives without a second thought. He does the same for the young men in his church. It's not a conscious effort that he puts forth, it's just what he does. He taught me the value of respecting myself.

I can say with complete confidence that any wrong choices I've made in my life was not because of a lack of guidance or foundation. I can also say that when I made those choices, he dusted me off and didn't hesitate to point me in the right direction. Lately, I've found myself more attractive to men that remind me of my father, not so much in physical type, but mannerisms. He's got his flaws (TREMENDOUS flaws), but they are so outweighed by his strong points, knowing him is truly a blessing.

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