I recently made a difficult decision. When my kids' father calls, he gets sent directly to voice mail. I'm sure some may dismiss me as bitter baby mama, but that matters not to me.
I've grown weary of the Wack-a-Mole style of fathering he seems to have adopted. Whenever he decided he didn't want to contribute financially, or didn't want to be a parent during that time, he would be ghost. And for a long time, I tolerated it. When he would reappear, it would be as though nothing happened. It's been like this for almost seven years. And for almost seven years, I've tolerated it. He has not sent a dime to them since March of 2007. He's never sent them a pair of long underwear, boots, pencils for school, or done anything that shows he gives a damn.
Saturday, he called for the first time in two weeks. Now, one could argue that he's been busy. Well, if that were so, that means he's working, so he could send them provisions. One could argue that he has not been working. Well, if that were so, that means he has time, so he can call more regularly. Either way, it doesn't add up, so his ass went to voice mail.
So I made a judgment call. I am not going to act like his deadbeatism is something that will pass, and I will suffer it for the sake of some mythical benefit to my kids. The rollercoaster fucks them up. Everytime he disappears, my kids act a fool. And almost on schedule, when they're settled into their routine, he pops back up again. That's just not something I'm going to stand for. I can't in good conscience allow it.
If my kids were to come to me about a friend who only had time for them when it was convenient, or they had nothing better to do, I would tell them they need a new friend. Now, as he is their father, I can't exactly tell them that; but I refuse to treat him as though his sperm dontation gives him free reign to mishandle them as he sees fit. So, as far as I'm concerned, my kids call the shots. If they so happen to ask to talk to him, they are free to call. Two weeks and counting and they haven't asked for him yet. Sad.