Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Muddling through this thing called life

Last night while thumbing through a notebook I had as a senior in high school, I realized how organized I was. A friend of mine expressed a similar sentiment and noted that it was because we had nothing else to do at the time. (I would have loved to regale him of tales of how exciting my life was at the time, but unfortunately, he was right - I was social plankton.) Now that I'm older and have more responsibilities, I know my life should have lost some of it's order. However, my life looks like the organization monster threw up in my life. I'm always late, I can never find anything, I forget everything, I'm slower than molasses, I can't focus and reaching goals seem like impossibilities.

Living in New Orleans makes me want to scream bloody murder. There's a saying related to the difference between New Orleans and purgatory - supposedly God lets people leave purgatory. It's loud, bawdy, country and it stinks. I'm also pretty sure that when the Lord gets in the mood for some smiting, New Orleans will definitely be in the "Top 5". It also does not pay to be a woman with an definitive opinion on anything down here. (Though I'm finding that it doesn't go over too well in other places either, but that's another story for another day.) Long story short, I'm ready to bounce. Call it running, call it escaping, call it whatever the hell you want. I've gotta go.

I have already changed my goal for being published at 27 to 32. I will not allow myself to change that to 37. I've gotta get cracking on this for real. I've been writing lately, and that's most definitely a good thing. One day, maybe folks will say "I knew her when..." I promise not to go on vacation and marry a juvenile gay Jamaican.

I hate doing the dishes. I mean, I despise it. I considered paying my sister $50 a week to do my dishes for me. No joke. I'd rather scrub a million toilets than wash a plate.

I'm fat. I set up an appointment with a trainer at a gym today because I'm tired of being fat. I've started doing Pilates in the morning because I'm tired of being fat. Tonight I'm giving away my red meat because I'm tired of being fat. You get the picture.

My dad was diagnosed with cancer earlier this summer. He's been sort of hush hush about it, which makes me nervous. Between that, my brother leaving his wife, my sister floating through life without direction, my kids growing like weeds and my friends and family thinking that I'm a nut job, I'm somewhat overwhelmed.

I know I'm going to make it...I'm sure of it. I'm just not sure if I'm going to make it with a full head of hair.


Amadeo said...

Damn, I always liked the architecture in New Orleans too...
A messy desk is a free desk...that's what I tell my boss anyway.

BLESSD1 said...

Waitaminute!!! Did you actually admit that New Orleans was country?!!! Sound the alarms!!! The END is near! LOL! Seriously, Breeze...you've officially joined the club of those w/missed agendas and life-plans askewed. Don't worry...with time, the universe usually finds a way to work things out. Geez...I think I just misquoted the fat black guy in Harold & Kumar go to White Castle. LOL!

P.S. Excellent post, by the way. I'll be looking forward to that book.