Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Garage Sale

In life we amass items that are positively useless, yet we hold onto them. Whether it's a skirt that you're NEVER going to get your big ass into again, an exercise bike that you've had since the Carter administration, a sofa in the attic, whatever. Ultimately, a light goes off in our heads, "This is some unnecessary ish," and we have a garage sale to get rid of the stuff. Once we sell it, it's gone. No returns, no exchanges.

I think people should have a garage sale of issues. Sometimes we hang and harp on to things that are totally unnecessary and all they is clog up space. So I'm putting some stuff out at Mel's Garage Sale:

1. My marriage/past relationships - FOR SALE!!

The past is the past. Everyone is different. Some folks are great, some will do you dirty. C'est la vie. No big story there. I've lived and learned the lessons I believe I was meant to learn from those few bad experiences and now I'm slapping a sign on that topic. I'm knocking on the door of my 30s and there's no need to enter it with the 20s garbage.

2. Losing weight - MUST GO!!!

I'm a big girl...I'd like to think I'm a big pretty girl, but a big girl all the same. I'm in the process of breaking off my passionate affair with grease and gravy. However, conversations about that are off limits. No one cares. Most of the people I hang around now have only known me as a fat brawd. There's nothing more pathetic than hearing somebody talk about "When I'm a size 8 again" or "In my thin days" with a piece of chicken dangling from her paw. Shut up and do a push up...or better yet, push AWAY.

3. Fincial Standing - CLEARANCE!!

My goal is to be about it. As the talking increases, the action decreases. So now I plan, and work it out from there. All that mamby pamby complaining is gone though.

4. My occasionally shitty job - LIQUIDATION!!

I complain about my job. I feel overworked, underpaid, but yet, I still manage to pay (some of) my bills and blog! So either I quit and work for a firm where I have to punch a clock and wear hose, or I shut the phuk up, relax and work in the environment where I have a fair amount of leeway, can handle my personal issues as they arise and I can give my lovely gams some air.

Whew...now maybe my real life can begin!!

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