Friday, November 18, 2005

Universal imbalance

"Sometimes I think there's no point at all and that's the point."
Mozelle Batiste Delacroix - Eve's Bayou

My karma is fucked up. Maybe I should start doing good deeds like that "My Name Is Earl" dude. (Does anybody watch that show?) I don't want to seem like a whiner, because there are good things that happen to me. But they usually follow some earth shattering tragedy. (I'm not complaining about blessings. Just frustrated.)

I'll be real: I'm cute, young, hard working, got all my teeth, and chronically single. The only reason I'm NOT completely flipping out is that Halle Berry can't seem to keep a man around either. Pitiful, yes. But it gets me through the day (and night) and that's what counts.

I make decent money, but since I type 88 wpm, I thought I'd be more than the print beyotch. Again, this is whining. I complained about working like a dog at my last job, but being this idle is sort of scary. Like one day they're going to wake up and say, "We're paying this bitch HOW much to click the "print" icon?" and the party will be over.

This month has been a study in, "Thanks but no thanks" or "Sorry, we don't carry that color in your size" or some such nonsense. I think I'm overdue for a "Breez day." A day where the only words I hear are "Oh yes Ms. Breez, right this way," "This has a very slimming effect" and "That's a spectacular idea."

I'm tired. I'm tired of unrealistic ideals. I'm tired of waging these ferocious battles only to realize that I'm in the EXACT same place that I started. For all of my progression and growth, it still just feels like all i'm doing is making wider circles. Is that the point of it all?


Amadeo said...

I know the me even on the size thing. Too many people my size and too many smaller people getting things in bigger sizes.

Amadeo said...

BTW...I've been single so long I'm learning to enjoy the breif moments of flirting that I get.

Breez said...

LOL, flirting is almost like a bonafide date for me. Sad? Yeah, I know...